The free world is trying to open up, the frightened world is trying to keep us small. Is that really so different than any other circumstance we have encountered in this life? Take, for example, divorce. Part of you wants to break free, part of you is afraid to be judged for making a decision. We forget that no decision IS a decision and that the things we complain about actually control us. What if we stop complaining and baby-step our way into the life we've always dreamed of. Is that even possible? As a retired woman who has weathered multiple children, marriages, divorces, and dream jobs I have come to understand that all neurosis is merely (but not so easily) the result of ungrieved losses. By pretending it didn't happen or it doesn't hurt or it doesn't impact us, we throw ourselves into another king of illusion. Some people are calling that toxic positivity these days. The happy face that denies the pain underneath as though it is the portrait of strength when, in fact, the foundation is crumbling. It is only a matter of time until the seen matches the unseen. Sixty and Me published a few articles I wrote several years ago as I grappled with ambiguous loss - mastering the delicate are of knowing when to hold on and when to let go. My lived experience post-pandemic has made that message even more impactful today. Click the link and have a read. Respond here if you find value.
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